Highly Sensitive Healing starts with treating the inner child with the care and compassion that he or she needed in your youth.
Highly Sensitive People are genetically different from others – meaning they stand out from their peers, many times before they even have the words to process this and understand it.
One of my past jobs was as a teacher. And every year, our own personal organizational expert would somehow plan a great trip to Kings Island (a local-ish amusement park). When I chaperoned, I decided that I was still a teenager myself and rode every ride that I could. I was amazingly successful at it.
For two weeks.
See, in my 40’s I can still do just about everything I could do in my 20’s. It just takes longer to recover, so I have to weigh out whether it’s worth the risk.
- I can eat a whole pizza … I probably shouldn’t.
- I can run a mile … but my knees will not be thankful.
- I can stay up all night playing video games … but I will be snoring on the couch before dinner.
So if I want to be healthy, I need to do three things.
- I need to reframe the change: I’m not getting older, I’m getting wiser.
- I need to consider my response in light of who I am: So realizing that I have limited body resources I know I need to take better care of myself: walking daily instead of sprinting, eating a piece of pizza and a salad instead of the entire pizza.
- I need to see what needs to be done to care for myself now. Hmm.. back to the salads again.
Your HSP traits are no different. Honestly, if you’re like most people who are reading this, you could easily be in your 40-50’s right now and just starting to understand what’s going on inside of you. This is not uncommon. There’s something to be said for the energy of youth helping to power us through tiring circumstances. When it wanes, we’re left with having to manage our limited resources better.
So it’s time to look back and see where that inner child has been through the years. What kind of damage has he or she taken that needs healing?
Dr. Aron, in The Highly Sensitive Person, lists a three-step process to help heal our inner child. Let’s take a look at one time in the past that our child was wounded (you probably have a lot to choose from) or when you failed to meet your expectations.
- Reframe the Change – instead of seeing a failure, what can you learn from the experience (insert incredibly cliche Edison / Light-Bulb anecdote here)
- Consider the Response in light of how your HSP traits operate – what did you learn about your HSP in the process of this event? Were you overwhelmed by the volume of people? Noises? Scents?
- Determine if there anything that needs down now? Does a relationship need
fixed? Do you need to make amends? Do you need to add something to your toolbox to help this next time?
Hopefully, this will start you on your path to inner healing. That child needs a lot of work, but every step will be rewarding and bring you to a greater understanding of yourself and your unique “flavor” of being a highly sensitive person.
There is a lot of work that can be done on your own to start the healing process. But if you’re in Ohio and would find it more efficient to process a difficult event with a trained HSP clinician, book an appointment now through my website and take the next step! We offer online therapy anywhere in the state.
If you’re not in Ohio, check out this list of HSP clinicians from Dr. Elaine Aron here